01/11/2008 - "Please try again at a later time or right now." - Error thrown by the Facebook search engine.
08/07/2007 - "Cook until reaching a minimum internal tortellini temperature of 165°F" - Cooking instructions on Spartan brand frozen tortellini.
06/26/2007 - "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in the money-stuffed crack of Viacom's ass." - guywiththeglasses response to YouTube banishment.
06/13/2007 - "Do not clean with gasoline." - Sticker on new kitchen window.
05/22/2007 - "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap."
05/14/2007 - "THIS IS GOING TO BE MY TAT ON 8-2-07 !!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
05/07/2007 - "Try our pants risk free!" - Victoria's Secret ad.
05/04/2007 - "No republican shall sit in the White House for at least 16 years." - Comment left after the Republican Party debate.
04/18/2007 - "A cooking show for anybody who ever peed in the sink while talking on the phone." - Richard Jeni.
03/29/2007 - "Cook killed and tourists hurt in Turkey gas blast" - Google News headline.
03/27/2007 - "You know... in our part of world it is still legal to throw rocks and patatoes at gays. And they're forbidden to educate. God bless our superior government. :)"
03/23/2007 - "The best way to stop your friends from driving drunk isn't to take away the keys, it's to take away the alcohol." - Radio PSA.
03/21/2007 - "i don't like cocaine. i just like the way it smells"
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